When life throws you curve balls, how do you get back on track? Our journey through this life brings with it a number of lessons that can feel like one shocking blow after another-illness, death, career changes, breakups, loss, financial challenges, injustice, and so much more. Part of our agreement in this life experience means having to work through the challenges thrown at us. If you’ve been clinging to the belief that life is supposed to be linear, you’re in for a rude awakening. The important thing to remember is that these are moments, not our entire life experience. When bad things happen, it’s natural to feel deflated and defeated. You may even assume that things will never get better. This is the very mindset that keeps so many people stuck in one place and drowning in their victimhood.
This wild rollercoaster ride that we call life is an endless series of highs and lows, successes and failures, setbacks and comebacks. Your greatest defense for riding out all the unknowns in this life is the development of your resilience muscle.
When life knocks you down, you have a few options…
Option #1: Stay knocked down: You’re shocked or paralyzed by the knockdown. You fear getting up in in case you’ll get knocked back down again. (Note: Not the best option for moving forward and reclaiming victory, but understandable! Sometimes option one is the best place to re-group and adjust your bearings. Just remember not to live here for long!).
Option #2: Get up but keep going back to where you were knocked off course and repeat the same cycle over and over. You got up and have tried to continue on with the same mindset and tools that did not support you the first time. You’re struggling to make strides forward, but the pull back to the memory of the hardship or the stories you’ve created about the knockdown are too strong without a different approach.
Option #3: Get up and move forward with strength and resilience: You stand up, take time to process and heal from your knock down, and then move forward using the knowledge you have gained from the challenge and new tools you have sourced. Getting up and moving forward doesn’t mean you don’t look back at where you got knocked down every once in a while; instead, it means you have learned and understood, and integrated your place in the healing and growing of your life's journey.
How do we choose or work towards option #3? Read below for three steps towards increased resilience when life knocks you down.
Tip #1 - Level Up Your Energy
Levelling up your energy means taking deliberate steps towards boosting your mood through awareness and action. Take some time to think about and be open to trying activities that are good for your emotional, physical, or spiritual health. Choose, schedule, and stick to activities even if you don’t feel like it initially. We can feel hesitant to add something new or go back to something old that we enjoy when we’re going through hard times. In our darkest moments, we can often be very resistant to getting out of our comfort zone or our familiar pain, but with the encouragement from loved ones and ultimately yourself, you will be able to participate in (and truly benefit from) these nourishing activities.
Examples of how you can level up your energy:
Move your body-Run, walk, stretch, dance, lift weights, swim, practice yoga/Pilates/qigong, play a sport, or try something that gets you moving in any way that feels right for your body.
Nourish yourself and your cells -“Comfort food” is only comforting for the nostalgia it brings. When we consume large amounts of highly processed or less nutritious food, we may feel better in the moment, but these foods only drain you of your energy in the long run. Ensure that you are eating a balanced amount of food that support and truly nourish your body. Hard times can lead to not eating enough or overeating. Eat lots of fruits, vegetables, and high-quality protein and fat so you can fuel your body with adequate nutrients.
Be aware of alcohol, smoking, and other addicting vices. Hard times can have us hitting the vices really hard for obvious reasons. However, overconsumption of anything isn’t good for our energy or for our long-term emotional or physical health.
Make Fun a Priority -Take that cooking class you’ve always wanted to take, call up your old bandmates to jam, take a trip, play or learn an instrument, or go to a comedy show that will make you laugh.
Take time for calming & comforting activities-Read, nap, sit outside, take a bubble bath, or actively participate in something that will relax your mind and body.
Holistic Healing Sessions-Try chiropractic, massage, breathwork, intuitive energy healing, or other services that will help you elevate your energy. See our center’s services for more energy lifting activities.
Avoid the "Cave of Isolation"-Going into a "cave of complete isolation" can lead to overthinking and be counterintuitive to your healing process. While we all need some alone time, support from others is essential, especially when we are going through hard times. It doesn’t matter how introverted or extroverted you are, you still need to feel a sense of support or belonging. Know that asking for help or support is the farthest thing from being weak; asking for help or community support actually shows a great deal of strength, vulnerability, and emotional maturity.
Join a Group-There are all kinds of support groups for specific issues such as grief, addiction, heartbreak, and more. There are also specific interest groups and clubs that gather to express their love or enjoyment of a specific activity (e.g. running clubs, hiking groups, book clubs, etc.). The only way to know if a group is the right fit for you is to try it out.
Tip #2 - Be Still, Reflect and Check-in
Even though staying active is incredibly important when it comes to getting through a hard time, it's best to balance all that activity with stillness and reflection. Taking time to get quiet so you can give your thoughts and feelings the attention they deserve is essential. It can be very easy to get caught up in a busy schedule in order to distance yourself from challenging emotions. A time of inward reflection can be taken in any way that serves you best. You can ask yourself what you need, how you are feeling, or what you can further do to support yourself. You can sit or walk by yourself, quieting the outside world and allowing you to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. Checking in with yourself about how you are feeling is a healthy way to continue your healing and decreases emotional setbacks.
Tip #3 - Take Responsibility, but Show Compassion
If you don't to take responsibility for life’s setbacks, you avoid problems altogether and, in turn, disempower yourself. A setback may not have been your fault. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t take ownership of it. When circumstances are unfavorable, it takes guts to say, “I’m owning this.”
Spending time and energy being bitter towards a situation is a waste of time. You can’t move forward in life if you’re too busy blaming the world for your problems. Avoid making excuses and recognize the role that you play in any given situation. This is how you will feel empowered to learn from your mistakes and bounce back fast when you get knocked down. Erica Jong says, “Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: No one is to blame.”
Challenges are Mere Stepping Stones on the Road to Your Success
From my personal experience, I have found that the longer you stay down when life knocks the wind out of your sails, the harder it is to get back up again. I encourage you to use every fall, every challenge, every misstep, as an opportunity to evolve into a wiser human being. Failing is merely proof that you’re trying; so fail more and do it spectacularly!
I have yet to meet a successful person who hasn’t struggled to achieve the success they now have. The only difference between them and everyone else is that they have the resilience to not give up when things get tough.
The next time that life knocks you down, bounce back fast, with a new arsenal of tools and an inner knowing that your flexibility and ability to extend outside your comfort zone, means that you’re already winning at the game of life. Every struggle you experience is a mere stepping stone on the road to your success.
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