The holidays are fast approaching and while the pies smell terrific and the turkey is ready to roast, many of us don’t feel the same joy at the thought of interacting with members of our own families. Communications are often superficial and judgmental, creating a heavy atmosphere fueled with guilt, non-acceptance, heightened emotions and mashed potatoes. One thoughtless comment from a parent or sibling can stir up years of suppressed feelings and painful memories. This year, I ask you to look at the situations you find yourself in as opportunities and break the dysfunction to create the joy and love that your life deserves. There are many ways we can break these heavy holiday patterns. Everyone has their own path to lead themselves out of dark places, but here are a few simple steps you can follow to activate your own successful journey to happiness during the holidays.
Imagine the best possible end result - Instead of anticipating uncomfortable questions or situations, picture the scene as you would like it to happen. So if mom/dad, Charlie or Aunt Sue always ask, “when are you going to have a baby/get a real job/get married?” etc, prepare yourself ahead of time by using your imagination. Picture them saying, “It’s so wonderful to see you, you are such a great person. Tell me about everything that’s happened since we last met!”, or “Tell me more about your job, it sounds so interesting!” or something else that you've longed to hear. The more positive your thoughts, the more you will attract positive to you.
Be present/stay present - Let’s say that your family members follow this new script you have created in step one, don’t stop the momentum by bringing up or thinking about how they weren’t so wonderful in the past. Enjoy the moment you are in.
Ask yourself, “what is the lesson/opportunity here?” - "Opportunities" will repeat themselves until we learn what we needed from the challenge. Instead of falling back into old patterns, look to see how you can grown from the experience. If your family can’t help but criticize your life choices and speak only in a condescending way, see that they are giving you the opportunity to know your worth and power. Send them gratitude and love from your heart for the lesson.
Take a breath - Breathe deeply to stay in the parasympathetic mode (stress free). Look at the big picture as an opportunity to change your behavior and reactions to stressful situations.
With positivity and love you can make the holiday season one of peace, harmony and light for yourself and create a ripple effect that will affect all of those around you.
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